Embrace the Suck: a necessary mindset for growth and success.

(Authors note and full disclosure: “suck” was the equivalent to a four-letter word in the house I grew up in. Even today I feel silly using that term, especially in this article. But with apologies to mom, it definitely fits for the purposes of this article)

I have really good taste in music. 

I came to this sincere yet unabashedly decisive conclusion via objective experience, but let me explain. In college I decided I was going to learn to play the guitar. I had taken piano lessons as a kid, played saxophone in Jr. High, so I figured I had a good base to build on. I signed up for lessons, practiced hard every day, and within a few months I was playing a few well known songs. 

(Look at that handsome devil, unironically still wearing a puka shell necklace in 2005)

Fast forward 13 years, 2 companies, 3 countries, and 4 kids later, and I find myself homebound in the middle of a pandemic and haven’t touched my guitar since college. So I decide it’s time to pick it up again and re-teach myself. After a few days of plucking out Hot-Cross-Buns, Jingle Bells and Mary Had A Little Lamb, I decided it’s time to graduate to playing some of my all-time favorite songs that were the reason I wanted to learn to play the guitar in the first place. I quickly downloaded the sheet music for some songs from the likes of Led Zeppelin, Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles and even a Johnny Cash song for good measure, and I got to work. But it turns out, those songs are REALLY HARD to play. With my barely even beginners level of skill I can barely produce sounds that even resemble those classics. It was frustrating and embarrassing to the point I didn’t want anyone else in the house to hear the noise I was making (because it certainly wasn’t music). One night I expressed my earnest frustration to my wife and she deadpanned the obvious: “That’s why those guys are rock stars, and you are not.” True...but ouch. 

Apart from concluding that my taste of music must be exemplary because I like to listen to songs that are really hard to play, I also had a second realization: if I ever wanted to play Stairway, I was going to have to be OK with “sucking.” The military term “Embrace the Suck” immediately came to mind. I was going to have to be OK with building the finger strength and dexterity over time to play advanced chords. I was going to have to re-learn the basics of reading music, of how to hold my pick, and how to string two chords together smoothly without a huge pause in between. As weird as it is to think about, at one point even the likes of Eddie Van Halen or Jimmy Hendrix “sucked” at the guitar. Though I imagine the amount of time they spent at the “suck” level was marvelously short. Unlike me, who nine months later admittedly still "sucks."  

Now, I typically don’t like to "suck" at things, and I imagine nobody does. But this silly example has broadened my perspective with regards to professional development. How often do we hold ourselves back from taking an assignment, learning a new skill, or trying new things simply because we know we will "suck" at it. With today’s ever increasing push for specialization and expertise, "sucking" at something can potentially be viewed as dangerous and therefore scary. But if we as individuals are going to grow and future proof ourselves, we need to start somewhere. We need to be brave enough to not be amazing at something. Or in short, we need to “Embrace the Suck.” 

A second experience gave me a second view on this term. Recently my daughter expressed that she no longer likes school. When I ask why, I received the typical teenage response: “it sucks.” After repressing the urge to correct her language, I talked with her about her situation and we both came to the conclusion that “yes, it does suck.” Distance learning, limited in person contact with friends, extra curricular activities canceled, and no real end in sight, none of these situations are ideal. As we talked about her situation, that same mantra came back to mind: she needed to “embrace the suck.” We talked about how we needed to accept that things aren’t going to be the way we want them to be any time soon. We didn’t want this scenario, we didn’t ask for this, but we can embrace it and make the most of it. We talked about how we could use this time to do things we otherwise would not have been able to. One example: art club may be canceled, but maybe we could use that time to start our own family art club. 

While reflecting on this conversation my mind made the quick connection to an organization going through change. Whether the changes are, for example, process changes, systems changes, or org changes, in my experience, most likely these changes will result in some scenarios that are, well, "sucky." Again the mantra “embrace the suck” is applicable. Any meaningful change I’ve been a part of has resulted in some short term pain, some of it planned for, some it unexpected. But regardless of the reason for the pain, those leaders and teams who more quickly “embrace the suck” are those who are able to figure out how to thrive in the midst of the changes. I’m not advocating a “make lemonade out of lemons” mindset, nor do I feel rose-colored glasses benefit anyone. Rather, leaders and teams who readily and honestly accept the brutal truth of their reality are those that are able to find ways to improve their reality. Leaders and teams that either deny or ignore the pain their current reality is causing only prolong their pain and typically fail to realize the desired benefits of the change initiative. 

So to teams and leaders who are experiencing change, my advice this the same as anyone looking to develop and grow: “embrace the suck”.