Lessons in Leadership from a Middle School Principal

We’ve all been there before: a bad haircut, out-of-trend clothes, skin blemish, or anything else that makes us feel self-conscious around others. These feelings are only heightened during middle school. And that is just the situation young Anthony Moore found himself in. His parents had taken him to get a haircut and he was embarrassed with the results. As a solution to his problem, he decided to wear a hat to hide his new look. However, that only led to a bigger problem as hats were against the school’s dress code. After refusing to take the hat off for fear of being laughed at by his peers, he was sent to a counsellor’s office. 30 minutes later and after being threatened with suspension, Anthony was still not going to take his hat off. And that’s when the principal, Jason Smith, was finally brought in.

Now, Mr. Smith had a choice to make. He could either enforce the rules and consequences as had been repeatedly and clearly communicated. Or, he could work a little harder, be a little more creative, put himself in Anthony’s shoes, and find a solution that would keep a young man in school where he belonged. After a few simple questions Mr. Smith quickly learned the root cause of the problem. Anthony wasn’t being defiant, or trying to be difficult, or even trying to make a statement, he simply didn’t want to be laughed at. Looking at it through this lens, new solutions quickly presented themselves. It just so happens Mr. Smith has been cutting his own and his son’s hair for years. He offered to go home, grab his haircutting supplies, and touch up Anthony’s haircut to help him feel more comfortable and confident. Anthony initially hesitated, but eventually said yes.

(WRTV, CNN, Lewis Speaks Sr./Facebook, CNN Newsource))

After a quick phone call to Anthony’s parents and a drive through the snow to get his supplies, Mr. Smith had Anthony touched up and ready to return to class. Mr. Smith even checked in on him later in the day and found him fully engaged in learning, and not wearing his hat. (Check out the full story here)

There are so many lessons we could draw from this story, as well as more layers from a culture and socio-economic standpoint we could explore. But for the sake of this short article today I want to focus on how the principal’s positive and successful approach can be applied to leaders in other situations. Mr. Smith set a great example of how the right leadership approach can drastically change the results of individuals and teams. Here are a few of my key takeaways.

1.      Mr. Smith asked questions and then he listened with the intent to understand. And when he received an answer he knew was surface level, he asked more questions to really understand the root cause of the problem. He didn’t settle for solving the surface level problem and sought to solve the bigger, underlying issue.

2.      Mr. Smith took an empathetic approach. He sought to see the world through the eyes of Anthony. He understood what was important for a 14 year old young man and how that view was affecting his behaviors.

3.      Then he moved into compassion by taking action. Mr. Smith didn’t simply stop with “I understand”, he asked himself “what can I do to meet Anthony’s needs?” Once a solution presented itself, he took action only he could take to help improve Anthony’s behavior.

4.      Mr. Smith approached this interaction with a servant mindset. He wasn’t looking to punish, nor was he looking to simply enforce the rules. Rather, he was looking for a way to meet someone else’s needs. He observed, then he served.

5.      He also had his priorities right in that he put people above policy. “Punishment” was a last resort. He knew it was far more important for Anthony to be in class and learning than it was to send a message about dress-code compliance.

In the case of Anthony, Mr. Smith’s leadership approach led to some important results. Not only did was there a complete turnaround in Anthony’s behavior, but Mr. Smith’s leadership also prevented a suspension, a situation with consequences that could have lasted a lifetime. “Hat’s off” to Mr. Smith!

So for us as leaders, we’d benefit by asking ourselves a few questions:

• How could we apply these learnings to our own teams?

• How would behavior and engagement improve if we adopted more of a servant mindset?

• What would happen if we took the time to ask more questions, understand more where people are coming from?

• How could we approach each interaction assuming positive intent?

• And if we made these small adjustments in our approach, how would results be different?

I’m confident Mr. Smith’s example is applicable to leaders everywhere. And I’m equally confident that as we as leaders adopt some of the same methods as Mr. Smith, we’ll be able to get the best out of our teams as well.